Grieving – Is Happiness Always a Choice or Even an Option?

By | March 17, 2018

As a parent dealing with grieving the loss of child. Let me be the first to tell you, that happiness isn’t always a choice.

A few years ago, Joel Osteen made a comment that…

Happiness Is Always a Choice

This comment sent ripples through the community of parents grieving the loss of a child.

Some were livid and some were merely annoyed.

It irked me that he would say this in terms of a parent grieving the transition of a child and to boot, he said “always”.

A choice, as simple as choosing to be happy?

Truth About Dealing with Grieving!

Life isn’t that easy for anybody who is grieving the loss of a child.

The truth is, the grief process in and of itself isn’t easy.

Dealing with losing a child or loved one, isn’t as simple as merely choosing to be happy.

The amount of grief, shock, anger, sadness, and hopelessness that so many of us face dealing with the death of a child is monumental.

Processing those heavy and dense emotions of grieving can take months, years, or even a lifetime.

There are so many analogies to describe what suddenly being thrust into being a grieving parent feels like.

I often describe it as going through the fire. And when you are on fire with grief, nothing makes sense. Someone telling you that happiness is a choice is out of the question.

During this stage of grief, we must grieve, meaning we must process the hurt, rage and unfathomable sadness; this takes an amount of time that is different for each of us.

In my experience, choice has very little to do with how long it takes to process grief.

Each of us is different and each of us is on a different path. Yet, we are all beloved children of God.

Do Not Judge!

We are not to judge or compare our journeys in life and in grief.

In scripture Jesus said…

Do Not Judge

In brief, you’ll be treated the same way you treat others.

With that said, my path with heavy grief was shortened considerably by KNOWLEDGE, and this knowledge didn’t come from a book, advice from others or by merely choosing.  Our son, Quinton Stone Jackson, vividly illustrated to us that he is not dead, but has only crossed over a threshold.  Quinton showed us early and often, that there is no death – period.

Armed and fortified with this knowledge, my soul was buoyed in such a way that it literally saved my life.  And it follows, given our son is immortal, so are we!

This knowledge rocked my world. I wondered why I never knew about this simple fact. What’s more, why isn’t it being taught in schools or shown on the news?

To my surprise, I discovered that it has been written about for hundreds, even thousands of years in books that are still available today.  But let me be clear, my fortification and strengthening in the throes of grieving had absolutely nothing to do with choice.

So this is what we offer, those of us who have come through the fire and are here to help others ready to hear our message.  We offer this knowledge that our transitioned loved ones, while not here, are actually alive and well across the veil.  Our transitioned children have shown this to be.

Ernie and Kristine Jackson, parents of Quinton Stone Jackson.

Author of Quinton’s Messages & Quinton’s Legacy